My Daddy had a stroke last week. Not a 'bad' one, although I don't know of any 'good' strokes. At least it wasn't one that paralyzed him or placed him on life support. He is confused, disoriented, afraid and frail. The whole thing has caused my Mother more stress than she should be able to handle being already dependent on oxygen to breathe and a wallker to ambulate. I wonder if what we see on the outside of an aging soul is actually the opposite of what is going on inside. Imagine the pressure in your life if you were trying to get somewhere important and couldn't make it ontime because you had to change your own diaper. What about stressing over whether your money will last until you die or if you will outlive your money and end up on the streets. Day after day you wake up and wonder.... You can't stop wondering because there is very little else to think about. The only thing you have now is your money, your house and your family. Your money is depleting, your house is too difficult to manage and your family is trying to make you move out of your house which is one of only 3 things you have left. Could you handle it?
We don't give the Elderly folks in our lives enough credit. They devote their lives to things that they end up having no control over. Over the years they planned holidays and vacations to build memories that aging steals away from them in the form of dementia. Perhaps that is a gift. Perhaps if they were cognizant of all they have lost, that alone would kill them.
I am not trying to be a downer, but I truly believe that the elderly are far stronger than their younger offspring. Our bodies are younger, our brains are sharper, our patience is longer and our wallets are fuller, yet we lack the ability to deal with the type of disappointment and loss our elderly folks deal with on a daily basis, and we can learn a lot from them.
Who do you have in your life you can learn from? Do you have a widow or widower in your neighborhood? Is there someone sitting on the steps each day that you pass on your way to work? Do you have a nursing home in your area? Don't assume that 'their people' will visit and spend time with them. And even if they do, so what! Reach out. Spend time. Learn. There is something they have to teach us. If you seek it, you may find and experience the inner strength they possess. If you do, please share. This is what humanity is meant to be. God Bless!
I am facing this exact thing with my mom, who still lives in the house I grew up in. She has alzheimers and everyone suggests that we put her in assisted living care, but I know my mom wants to be in her house. To be honest, even though I know she would be safer in an assisted living facility, I know she will be happier in her home. Does it really matter if she is safer if she is miserable? this is why your words above ring true. Her home is all she has left. I am not going to take that away from her, at least not until it becomes impossible.
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